We asked 20 real women to share the perfect one-liners, questions and messages they want from men on mobile apps and dating sites. We also asked women who visit Tinder, men from SilverDaddies for a gay man’s perspective, and other dating apps what they think are best practices when it comes to sending important first messages and what they had to say.

The good news is that we have provided you strategies for dating the first message and copy-and-paste examples to help you get started.  To help you inspire your own messages and give you a place to start, we’ve collected a few examples of online dating. From a simple hello to an interesting question to a funny or flirtatious message, each of these messages will help you stand out. In response to these examples of dating messages, they can help you to formulate your perfect answer if you are stuck on what to say. 

The first message

When creating your first online dating message, do not exaggerate the title. Keep it brief and concise and let the rest of the message speak for itself. It is important to get the message across in the right way.

There is an awkward moment when you try to send a message to a man or a girl and all you can think about is a hello. Come up with the first witty message and within minutes you’ll agree with someone decent. 

The first online dating message can be awkward, but finding common ground can ease tensions and open the door to a great conversation. It’s not difficult to create a winning first message to keep an online dating conversation going. A general rule of thumb for first-time online dating is that you should work on their name before doing anything else.  

You probably have a lot of other questions going through your mind but don’t let doubts or worries stop you from reaching out to someone that you are attracted to. 

Ask questions

When you ask one thing after another, you show that the answer is important to you and that gives you the opportunity to have a conversation about it.  It’s as simple as asking your match what the last thing your date (your online date) did in the first message and it’s an effective strategy.

More likely are you to get a result from your match by asking funny and unusual questions. These are the questions a friend might ask you to get things going, but they can also be creepy. 

They burden is one the other person with continuing the conversation when you ask questions. The hotter it is, the less burdensome the messages are, the more likely they respond. As a male, you don’t want to answer every time you realize that a girl has sent you a message because it signals that she has time to have a chat, and if the first reaction is quick, it’s not the time to sound eager when she meets availability. 

Take the time to look at the musical interests of people, books that they like to read, where they go to school, what they work on and any other information that they want to exhibit. For example, suppose you find someone interested in you, but don’t know how to write them.  

Responding to messages

Learning how to respond to online dating messages is a valuable skill for people who use dating apps and websites. When you respond to an online dating message, it is important to be clear about what you mean and how your message will be received before you send it. It is best to respond only to people in whom you are interested and you should avoid games such as sending back and forth messages that can be interpreted as rejection or disinterest in the chat.